Rejection
by reginleif-valkyrie
Summary: Mordin rejects the great Commander Shepard. It's in first person so Shepard can be whatever gender you want.


I walked into the Tech. Lab smiling at Mordin engrossed in his work. I doubt I'd ever get tired of seeing him bent over his work space. Which was good, because that's what he was doing 90% of the time.

"Shepard." Mordin said once I got closer. "How can I help you?"

I shrugged slightly. "If you've got a minute to talk..."

"Actually, wanted to talk." I watched him come around the table. "Medical matters."

"Okay?" I paused. "Did you accidently release the flesh eating virus?"

He smiled. "If did, we'd all be dead. Virus safely disposed of."

I wasn't really sure how you could safely dispose of a flesh eating virus and I probably didn't want to know.

Mordin's expression went serious again. "Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress."

"Haven't we been other this? I'm not sleeping with my crew."

He ignored me continuing. "Aware you come by a great deal. Have had other species become attracted to me before."

So my lower eye lid thing actually worked.

"Awkward. Not interested."

I suppose it was irrational of me to think he's say something along the lines of 'I love you too, Shepard', but hey, a love stuck fool can dream, right?

I tried to play it off that I had no idea that he was referring to me. "You've had members of other species make a pass at you?"

He nodded. "Constantly. Very awkward." He cupped his hands behind his back which was disappointing. I liked watching his hands move while he talked. "Skin-tone apparently attractive to turian standards."

I could see that. His skin's that really nice red-ish color. It's supposed to be rare among salariens.

"Subset of krogan sexual deviants enjoy salarien flexibility. More cartilage in skeletal structure."

And there came the image I could have lived my whole life without imagining.

Wrex and Mordin in a compromising situation. My imagination had to fill in some gaps since I have no idea what a naked krogan or salarien looked like which probably made it worse.

And yet, there was a little part of me that was relieved it was Wrex and not Grunt. I don't know why. I'm going with age since it made it slightly less weird, but not by much.

"Gross." I mumbled under my breath.

Again, Mordin ignored me. "Asari offers intriguing, actually. Wonder why." He went to his trade mark thinking stance. "Transpecies pheromones unlikely to work. Must be neurochemical."

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. Must have gotten side tracked by the asari.

And for a moment, I was angry. Was Mordin suggesting that because I wasn't asari smart, I wasn't good enough? What was so great about the asari? In case Mordin hadn't noticed, a lot of them were exotic dancers and strippers. Couldn't be that smart now could they?

I viciously shook my head dislodging that train of thought. Where had that crazy ass jealousy come from? I was disappointed in myself.

Yes, it hurt Mordin was rejecting me and yes it was a blow to my self-esteem. I mean, to be rejected by two people I really cared for...granted the first rejection was because I was working 'for' Cerberus and they turned out to be a walking talking ass.

At least with Mordin it wasn't anything personal. I think.

I swallowed my disappointment and spoke with what I hoped was an indifferent voice. "I appreciate you letting me down easy."

Mordin nodded. "No offense intended. Salarien reproduction different. Very little sex drive." He nodded again. "Glad you stopped by. Cleared the air." And he went back to work as if he hadn't just broken my heart.

A part of me wanted to protest. Never did I imply I wanted sex. I would gladly turn celibate for the rest of my life if it meant I could spend the rest of Mordin's short salarien life with him. I just wanted to be with him.

"Mordin, if it's not too much to ask." I hesitated.

"Shepard?" The salarien stared at me curiously. Clearly he was trying to figure out why I was still in the lab. To him, the conversation was over. The problem solved.

"I understand, and I may not like it, but I accept it. However." I forced my nerves to steady. "Can I ask you for a kiss?"

"That request seems ill-advised. Could only do more harm than good."

"Just once and I'll never bring this up again."

The room went quiet. I could almost see Mordin quickly analyzing all the variables.

I wasn't going to leave without an answer and I made that perfectly clear by relaxing my stance and crossing my arms.

Finally, he spoke. "Very well." Mordin came back around the table and stood before me. "If it will help put your mind at ease. I have no objections." He nodded. "Procced."

Not the most romantic moment I'd hoped for, but considering who I was asking and the circumstances, I shouldn't be all that disappointed nor was I going to let this once in a life time opportunity slip by over lack of romance.

My heart started to beat loudly in my ears. I felt butterflies in my stomach. Oh, dear God! I felt like a pre-pubescent kid about to get my first kiss again. I'd nailed it though.

I suddenly started asking myself a million questions: Did I eat anything that would give me bad breath? Did I brush my teeth today? What about mouth wash? Were my lips chapped? Should I lick them first? Would that be creepy? Would it matter since Mordin doesn't have lips? Wait, does he? Why can't I remember if salariens have lips or not? Should I count to three then kiss him or just lean in without warning? Should I use tongue? Would that be too far? What kind of tongues do salarien's have?

I could see Mordin visibly getting annoyed or angry or...was he bored?

"Shepard, if changed mind, fine, if not, hurry. Very busy. Lots of research."

"Right, sorry." Somebody tell me I didn't just blush.

I've lost track of all the heroic, brave, and stupid things I've done (There's been so freaking many) and yet this one kiss was the most daunting thing I've ever done.

I leaned in, cupped Mordin's elbows, and pressed my lips to his. It's funny how unconsciously you close your eyes when you kiss. Oh, good, he did have lips.

I pressed my lips harder against him and I was shocked when I felt Mordin press back. I shouldn't have, but I pulled him closer. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly. There was a perfectly good table right next to us. I could have easily maneuvered us over. I was stronger after all.

No!

I released Mordin taking a step back. I couldn't do that do him. I care...I love and respect Mordin too much. I may never get his love, but I have his friendship and I wasn't going to throw that away for an hour and a half of mindless pleasure. Plus, I really couldn't picture Mordin cuddling.

Figuring I was done, Mordin walked back to his work. Anybody else and I would have been insulted.

"Thank you." I said softly.

He shrugged a shoulder. "Time consuming. Not unpleasant."

I couldn't decide if my ego was hurt by that or not. Either way, it didn't really matter. It was time to leave Mordin to his work. There was no place for me here.

I was almost to the door when.

"Shepard?"

I glanced over my shoulder. Mordin was still working. "Yeah?"

"If wanted to try human, would try you."

I smiled faintly as the door opened. "Good to know." I stepped through and heard the door close behind me.


End file.
